


If you feel the same as I do right now (tell me)

by gureum



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Heartbreak, I blame the HITE cf behind the scene for this, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Attraction, nielwoon are the same age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 04:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gureum/pseuds/gureum
Summary: It was just Kang Daniel and Ha Sungwoon, two desperate souls stuck in a random dark narrow alley in some district they have never came across before.One with a freshly wounded heart.And one whose heart barely took any shape, for it constantly got taken to fix the other's wounded one.





	If you feel the same as I do right now (tell me)

 

Nothing good comes from getting drunk, was what the elderly always tells youngsters.

Frankly speaking, it was true. The more they gulped down the certain liquid, the more they lost themselves. But they were young, reckless, having an abundant amount of audacity running in their veins. Too much that it was almost sickening.

Daniel didn't recall what had happened earlier until he was caught in such a circumstance; him standing in a dimly lit narrow alley, in some district of the downtown he never crossed before, with a petite guy stuck between the brick wall and himself.

His arms were stretched out against the wall, alternatively trapping the guy even further. His eyes squinted, trying to adjust with the minimum source of lighting, or lack thereof.

When he took a closer look and finally able to decipher the trapped guy's facial features, it clicked. 

-

He remembered being glued to the library's chair, piles of assignments with nearing deadlines scattered all over the table.

Daniel remembered he was in the middle of remorseful fit for choosing to procrastinate over his school tasks, which led him to sleepless night when the deadlines were approaching, when his phone buzzed.

He ignored it upon first buzz, of course, too busy racking his brain finding the proper words for his essay paper.

But much to his nerves, his phone kept on ringing for the second, third, and lastly the fourth time. Daniel heaved a sigh. Stretching his tensed shoulders, he reached for his phone in aggravation.

Upon seeing the name flashed on his screen, though, all the annoyance in him lifted and the only thing that left was worry.

Daniel cautiously dialled the number of the certain person, tapping his fingers against the wooden table and waited for the other line to pick up the call.

Two heartbeats later, the ring tone stopped. Oddly enough, the other line was silent. Too silent. If it wasn't for the sound of slow breathing, he would have thought the line was cut off.

He whispered a low 'Hello?', not wanting to disturb the tranquil atmosphere of the library. Waiting anxiously for the other line to reply, he inhaled a large amount of air. The anxiety might make him pass out any second from then.

He visibly flinched when the other line finally spoke up. The voice was quiet, to the point that the sound of his blood running through his veins seemed obnoxiously loud. It was nothing but a faint whisper of the other line calling his name. Daniel can literally hear the tremble in the person's voice.

And that was all it took for him to abandon all his assignments that are due tomorrow, dumping the pile of papers and books abruptly into his backpack.

The F mark was practically slapped against his face, but he couldn't care enough. Not when Sungwoon needed him the most.

Cause that's what Daniel had always done, all the time. Running back to him.

-

Daniel remembered sprinting down the library, into the hallway, then down to the main road of the campus, his backpack hung low on his left shoulder. Countless people was bumped by him along the way, but his mind was a whirlwind mess that he couldn't care enough to utter a simple sorry.

Panting, he halted his footsteps upon reaching the basketball court. He didn't get any instructions on where to go through the short-lived phone call, but he had done this frequent enough to know exactly where he had to run to.

Daniel had sighed in exasperation at the thought. He was not supposed to do this frequently. He was not supposed to keep running back to a dishelved and screwed up Sungwoon ever so often. Sungwoon was not supposed to be dishelved and screwed up in the first place.

Albeit thinking that this circumstance keep on repeating like a crescendo, Daniel didn't have the heart to left a crying Sungwoon all by himself.

Not that Daniel ever wanted to.

He circled the court cautiously, scenarios of what he should and should not say to calm a sobbing Sungwoon started to build in his head.

The scenario crumbled down into debris, though, when he reached the old bench positioned on the backside of the basketball court; Sungwoon's favorite place to spend his time alone.

He was perched on the bench, eyes fluttered shut and head tilted back, earphones tucked delicately onto each of his ears. Soft hums of tune slipped past his lips, and, _was he smiling?_

To say Daniel got perplexed was an understatement. He was beyond bewildered. Pretty sure he heard Sungwoon's trembling voice through the brief phone call earlier, but looking at him now, ever so calm and peaceful, Daniel began to thought that maybe he had read the messages wrong.

Everything passed in a blur after that.

-

The sound of loud screech woke him up from his reverie. Daniel blinked a few times, trying to adjust with his surroundings once again. They were still standing, rather uncomfortably, in a narrow alley on the side of a main road in some district he didn't really know exactly where.

The loud screech must have come from car who pressed brake hastily, earning an eerie sound of tires against asphalt.

Sungwoon was still there, petite body tucked in between his own and the cold brick wall which he leaned against. Both of Daniel's arms rested against the wall, positioned on either side of Sungwoon's head.

The lack of lighting and his blurry alcohol infused eyesight made it difficult to focus on the smaller male's face, on his expression.

Daniel couldn't precisely recalled what had happened in the afternoon just hours ago, when he had ran to Sungwoon and greeted by the sight of said male smiling so serenely.

He did recall some names, though.

Jaehwan. Kim Jaehwan.

Of course it had to be him. Sungwoon's very own boyfriend for the past 2 years, and also the exact reason why he kept running back to the bench on the backside of basketball court. The reason why Daniel had always need to gave some moral support and accompany his bestfriend since high school when he and his boyfriend went through another fit of baseless argument.

Sungwoon had always been shedding tears, crying, sobbing, but he never had the tendency to do something about the destructive relationship.

And Daniel, despite being his bestfriend for the longest time, thought he had no rights to gave Sungwoon a piece of his mind regarding their situation. He was in no place to meddle with Sungwoon's personal matters.

Daniel lend Sungwoon a shoulder to cry, and that's all he was valued for.

This afternoon, however, Sungwoon was smiling. Daniel remembered it as clear as the morning sun. And it was beyond odd, since Sungwoon had never call him to the bench if he wasn't crying, or wrecked up, or somewhere in between.

Was it because Jaehwan finally gotten a grip of himself and began to treat him properly? Was it because of something else?

Bending his head down, he retracted his right hand from the wall and tilted Sungwoon's face up by the chin.

For the first time amidst his drunk fiasco throughout the night, he can finally registered Sungwoon's face. The light was as dim as ever, and it might be another hallucination produced by his clouded mind, but he was sure as hell that Sungwoon was glistening. He was so bright it's almost blinding, even.

Much to his surprise, Sungwoon's face was contorted to nothing but a weak smile, wearing the exact same expression as in the afternoon.

_"Jaehwan and I broke up."_

Daniel almost choked on thin air. 

His jumbled memory about what had occurred throughout the whole day began to juxtapose, and the more he remembered, the more he felt like throwing up.

Sungwoon broke up with Jaehwan. After all the tears spilled and time wasted mourning over a barely existent love.

Daniel recalled heaving a relieved sigh, and remembering that made the bile in stomach rise even higher, for him being shamelessly relieved when his bestfriend was still grieving.

"Daniel?"

Was that a voice from his memory as well? When Sungwoon muttered his name weakly through the phone call on early afternoon?

"Daniel?" The voice repeated, with an additional finger lightly tapping on his broad chest.

Daniel flinched at the contact, noticing that it was the Sungwoon in front of him, right there and then, who was calling him. Not merely a fragment of his memory.

The taller one still had his fingers perched on the smaller's chin, still tilting his head up to have a proper look of his face. It was just then when Daniel finally realized their proximity, and their rather questionable position. He was practically pining his petite bestfriend all the while struggling with rewinding his memory from the afternoon, with their faces merely inches away from each other.

And boy, _has Sungwoon always been this beautiful?_

The look of worry painted distinctly on Sungwoon's beautiful face. Daniel trailed his gaze affectionately, eyeing his petite bestfriend's facial feature. His beautiful eyes looked droopy, most likely the alcohol's impact. His beautiful nose button tinged red from the chilly night air, his bangs were a mess of brown sweaty flocks, but still looked beautiful regardless.

_Why would that guy wasted you?_

_Why would he made someone this pretty constantly cry and feel unworthy?_

_If it was me, I would never do such things._

Oh.

Daniel almost cried out in agony for his own thought, once again.

So it had always been like this.

When Sungwoon had cried on his shoulder, sobbing against his chest when he pulled him into a comforting embrace, being as vulnerable as ever, in fact, Daniel was just the same.

Feeling as vulnerable as ever.

_Why was it not me?_

_Why was it never me?_

Daniel was a coward the whole time. He could have saved Sungwoon, but he never did. He was scared. Scared that if he said something other than words of encouragement and pity, he would ruin whatever they had between them.

He was terrified at the idea of Sungwoon no longer needing him, no longer needing his shoulder to depend on.

He had never hated himself more than that.

Daniel chuckled mockingly at himself, and how ridiculous he had been for the past two years, when Sungwoon first got hooked into his relationship, or maybe way before that. Running back to Sungwoon only to became more and more of a loser each day. 

All this time, rather than running back to Sungwoon, he was running away from his fear of being left alone.

If only he wasn't dense enough to realized it sooner.

Daniel's chuckle managed to deepen the look of concern on Sungwoon's face. Raising both of his freezing hands up, he proceeded to cup Daniel's cheeks, tilting said guy's face down slightly, increasing their proximity even more.

"Is something wrong?"

The words urging to be spilled were clogged up in his throat and Daniel didn’t know, didn’t have the courage to spill them just yet.

Sungwoon's expression softened and the corner of his lips twitched to form a fond smile, his thumbs gently caressing Daniel's cheeks in circular motion.

"Daniel."

And that was all it took for his barricade to crumbled down, for the umpteenth time.

-

Sungwoon's red full lips looked inviting and Daniel threw away all his reasoning, his fears, the idea of what will happen tomorrow if he took a risky decision just once.

He can blame it on the influence of alcohol, perhaps. Or he could just disappear from Sungwoon's world once and for all.

But for now, Daniel just wanted to live in the moment. For the timing might never come again.

The kiss was nowhere near romantic.

There was no electrifying rush when their lips finally crashed, no cherry petals falling in crescendo on the background, no blushing cheeks nor shy laughter. 

It was just Kang Daniel and Ha Sungwoon, two desperate souls stuck in a random dark narrow alley in some district they have never came across before.

One with a freshly wounded heart.

And one whose heart barely took any shape, for it constantly got taken to fix the other's wounded one.

Daniel had expected a push, strings of profanities due to disgust, even a punch on the face. Daniel had mentally prepared himself for Sungwoon to hate him for the rest of his pathetic life. He took a risk, and he was already willing to accept the outcome, no matter how harsh it would be.

However, none of his self predicted outcome became true. Instead he found himself being pulled down by the tiny arms now circling his neck, deepening the kiss even further. Daniel moved his hand from Sungwoon's chin and placed it on the petite guy's lower back gently, cornering him fully against the brick wall.

Sungwoon smelled and tasted like nothing but cheap beer they just had before, and Daniel might just be a little bit biased, but that was probably the best cheap beer he ever tasted.

The smaller broke the kiss first, tilting his head back and panting, he was flushed red from his face down to his collarbones. As dramatic as it sounded, Daniel felt all the oxygen in his lungs had been sucked out.

The kiss was indeed far from romantic, but that didn't mean it felt any less breathtaking.

It was Sungwoon, after all. The exact guy who had left him breathless upon first meeting, whose eyes had captured and trapped him in their pretty little maze, but Daniel was too dense and scared to realize about it sooner.

_I really do like you, after all._

Sungwoon giggled all of a sudden and Daniel can't help the blush creeping on his cheeks. Did he perhaps voiced his thought out loud?

"Shall we go?"

Sungwoon offered his hand, and for once, Daniel did not hesitate to take it.

-

It might only be a spur of the moment, or a rush of adrenaline caused by the alcohol they had consumed. When they both wake up tomorrow, there are big fat chances that they will regret what they had done. That the kiss, the heartbeats, and all that came with it were just a strings of bad decisions, made by two young lost souls seeking for love and purpose.

But Daniel had Sungwoon's hand entwined with his own, the street lights were fluorescent, and the cacophony of the still young night was blazing across his eyes.

Everything felt too good to be true, it almost seemed like a mirage that might dissipate if he blinked his eyes.

Daniel didn’t bother to care, nonetheless. Grasping Sungwoon's tiny hand even tighter, he began to run.

Only this time, Daniel wasn't the only one who was running.

-

-

"Jaehwan and I broke up."

"I- what? Say what?"

"Jaehwan and I broke up, duh."

"Wow. I mean, no, why? Why now?"

A nonchalant shrug.

"No reason, it's just about time we have to end this."

"About time.. Wait, wait, you look too calm for your own good. Why are you not crying?"

"Is there a reason to cry...?"

A loud gasp.

"Oh my God. Sungwoon. Oh my God. Just how much have you been broken that you forgot how to cry? Oh my God no please don't be like this, I-"

A cheeky giggle.

"I'm not broken! Look, I'm perfectly fine. I mean, you've always been here so I'm perfectly fine. Beyond that, even."

"Good point. I'm here and you, young man, are going to accompany me to get some booze and drink your broken heart out, got it?"

A fond chuckle.

_Well, if that means we can keep being together, then._

"Sure, take me to wherever you wish to go."

**Author's Note:**

> i was planning on making a sunghwan fic but then the hite behind the scene happened, and sungwoon and daniel were so cute and my heart is weak.  
> So Weak.  
> so there you go, an absurd nielcloud.  
> pls excuse me if there are grammatical errors since i didnt even Try to fix anything, so.
> 
> cries  
> pls love nielcloud a lot theyre cute  
> and thanks to r youre the mvp <33
> 
> the title is from hands on me lyrics o yeah


End file.
